1. |
Ambivalent
04:30
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Believe do not believe
Do not believe
Your socalledself or anything you read
In the sheets the sex stained sheets the sleepless sheets
Of a love that only ohsofaintly breathes
But it breathes
If there’s ever a conflict
If there’s ever a reckoning
I hope you know what you’re doing
I hope you know what you’re doing
Believe do not believe
Do not believe
You’re socalledself or what you think you need
For the relief the all but too intense relief
Of your perfect little petty little griefs
You thief
And o how you like to ignore how your hunger starves her here
As you try to get your pleasures clear
A familiar little longing delays your total defeat
And oh it’s familiar you too it’s calm and pale retreat
I fell and heard my body sing that giving in’s the sweetest thing.
I fell and heard my body sing: do not believe.
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2. |
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Oh nonplussed and full of lust Western Humanist
Saw such civil means get you such bloody ends
Saw Beauty, Truth, and the Good
where the animals stood singing meaningless songs they made up for their forlorn friends
Our faith brought us here
Our love brought us here
Our art brought us here
It’s honesty that brought us here
Put your head on my shoulder I’ll tell you when it’s over I know I’m getting colder but I’m trying to stay sober
You could have lived by the pen
Or by the diagram
By just staying thin and by suffering caresses
Trampled rights after fights
under fluorescent lights
A fait accompli
Just to complete your bitterness
No more say you’ll undo these things
You’ve made these claims before
What is more you quite enjoy the pain: you prefer to endure.
And what is it for, what are they for, all of the pretty things, the clever things you make and sing just to ignore?
Let me know when you’ve had enough.
Let me know when you’ve had enough of this progress.
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3. |
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Beware the Body
and beware the Screen.
There’s no Nature (dirty faker!)
There are only memes.
Only Memes!
And everything will fall apart
The shinning youth consume their art
Nostalgic eyes get bitter hearts
Sorry that you feel that way!
And everything will fall apart
The shinning youth consume their art
Let’s stop it now before it starts.
What a shitty thing to say!
Bold face neurotic
Got no self-esteem (or so it seems…)
It’s like I tried to tell you: middleclass and so obscene (you’re so obscene!)
Coldblooded civility cultural currency break from the war for a tea
While those ugly animals lost to survival put brackets on all that the see
For sweet normativity acts of docility (baby crawl back to the sea with me)
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4. |
Pop Litany II
04:33
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And what if all these feeble pop songs became for us invocations
And all of our mixtapes a heretic’s litany of curses
You were meant to suffer brokenbroken heart
Life of the party but estranged from your art
Beauty loves a liar and so does your god
A note was never meant to ring in silence
The light and the leaf and your eye strike a chord
Everything’s so metaphorsodden or worse it’s the volatile water welling up from the earth
I’m all for forgetting just let go but when it comes back it’ll be much fucking worse
A note was never meant to ring in silence
The light and your lust and your eye strike a chord
And so I had to go in faith therefore with all my sins in the seat of my soul
(And I could smell the blood and gold)
‘But how many asked to come along?’
Not many asked to come along.
‘The heroes and the broken go with themselves.’
The heroes and the broken go with themselves.
I did it! I found it! I wrote it all down!
So this must be the place then I mean Christ Ben who in god’s name did you think you were kidding?
So stay asleep (stay asleep!)
If you don’t know you won’t have to weep
Stay asleep (oh, stay asleep)
And dream by pretty lullabies whose terms are not so steep
I did it! I found it! I wrote it all down!
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5. |
Britl Binary
04:22
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Another man who put you in the shadow
called you woman and fit you with a saddle
held you down and called you weak
cut out your tongue so you couldn’t speak
And did they say you weren’t pretty enough
touch up your make up and now you’re a slut and you’re a bitch if you can’t give a fuck
They can’t see you
No, they can’t see you
Hey, just cause I love you doesn’t mean I know
Some days yr in the haze of the gaze
But you play along for your minimum wage
It’s not what you want and you hope it’ll change but you can’t be the girl on the firing range
You’re feeling caged by the nouns and the names
You want to come too but oh what a shame: a girl’s gotta give in this hetero game
They can’t see you
No, they can’t see you
Hey just cause I love you doesn’t mean I know
If I was him that dude that man that uninvited hand well I apologize
Don’t say it’s too late
If I was him that dude that man that uninvited hand well I apologize
I know too well I was
This gender skin is thin
And it just wouldn’t let you
That’s how they trap you in
I mean whomever ‘they’ is
Please take this off.
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6. |
Philosophka (Over)
02:50
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Oh the whole world’s a heartbreak
It’s not enough to stay alive still every baby’s gotta cry
You take it as an inspiration
Now yr the celebrated queen of only barely getting by
Don’t speak of tomorrow and much less today
Nor of truth and lies what does it matter anyway
Just don’t fuck me over
Here in the crotch of the cliché
Here in the belly of a world that is aching for to die
I wonder do I disappoint you, or is it only me whose expectations are so high
I find the whole thing rather charming
That every spasm of my will just prolongs the fantasy
Now I’m trapped behind my closed eyes
As you list the things we’ll buy when we win the lottery
Don’t fuck me over.
Spoiled for choice don’t make you free
This is a necessity
We can hardly think we’ll make it on
It’s not what it’s supposed to be whatever that’s supposed to mean
We can hardly think we’ll make it on on on
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7. |
Weakened
03:10
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It’s not cold outside for winter
We can blame lust for that too
You get dressed while I’m here waiting
We can walk around until we’re dead
Until we fall back into bed
And what’s worse is you look beautiful tonight
It’s the light in your eyes now that everything is burning
no more what came before
no more forever more
I love you and I’m sorry
What’s worse is you look beautiful tonight
It’s the light in your eyes as you tell me that you hate me
You and this little boy
Your break my heart for joy
I love you and I’m sorry
Achingly godless Sunday morning
Let’s get high and mess around
Because I’ve not got the wherewithal for brawling
Come on
Just lie down and we’ll get clean
And wake into our barren dream
Of course I loved you
Never meant to hurt you
If you pardon the trope I’m gonna stand here begging:
Don’t go
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8. |
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Yes, but not enough to show it
Such an asshole
Scared to lose
Maybe you think you’re the poet
Pretty Body
Aching, dying all the while crying all the time
So I guess it stands to reason: with your swollen eyes, you missed the view.
And I conveniently do not believe in domesticity or destiny
I’ve only just been there I can go back there soon
Your bed is too small but I’m happy in your rented room
So Ryan write another chord
For there’s a joy we can afford
Too broke and bored
For cigarettes and wine
And line upon line of lies, poetry and powder
Prettily wasting time
When you take it away
Take it slowly and easily
Make it seem like I’m dying in my sleep
Instead of my life
Pray my soul to keep
All the songs they were wrong
Pretty myths silly bliss of the narcissist
I’m not singing just to you
Our love is made for more than two
Full of grace and disdain and of lust and mistrust and the shame and the blame of a love that’s worth the pain
And it was worth the pain
And my songs they were wrong
Pretty myths to dismiss with a kiss and fist
I’m not singing just to you
Here I am jealous and untrue
And they are lost to me
The mystery arrogant certainty of 23
I’ve only just been there I cannot go back there soon
I wanna go back there
I wanna go back there
Maybe you’ll still be a poet
Pretty Body
Aching, dying all the while crying all the time
So I guess it stands to reason that with my pale eyes and with your educated smile and with our necessary lies we missed the view.
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Ben McCarthy Toronto, Ontario
Ben McCarthy is an electronic musician and sound artist from Toronto, Canada. His work is produced intuitively, meticulously
arranging found sound, samples, and software to make music that slips in-and-out of various genres.
From SBVRSV.press: ‘Toronto-based producer & sound artist Ben McCarthy is easily one of the most underrated producers in the city. ’
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